Yun (Jim) Zhao-
Born in Shanghai, China, Raised in Southern California, Currently Attending University of California, Irvine.
Taken by the Lucky Ms. Daniella Bohan. Que Sera Sera.
Although these two topics don’t go hand-to-hand in society today, I do believe acquiring either ideology would make life that much bearable.
Yes, I get it, finals week is coming. Big whoop. People talk about how difficult certain topics can be frustrating to be tested on, and such dilemma as to where time go in this quarter vs. how much time invested in these classes.
I for one, who gets frustrated at the amount of effort I put in, just to earn a mediocre grade in these bio/chem classes, while the least amount of effort aka cramming an hour or two before the final earn me a solid A for my non-science courses. It’s daunting and depressing to see the scales be tipped so lightly and having a major impact in terms of grades. I understood the concept that grades don’t define you, but in college, and postgrad education, this can strengthen or break you.
Moving on…belief comes from aspiration to accept defeat with minimal loss. how so? Look at situations normally and then backwards.
Normally, you believe in yourself and just do things based on your intuition, time management, discipline, etc (lets assume you fail, because no one is perfect). Most of the time, you feel discouraged from doing whatever you did to get there. AND that plagues you for a period of time, whether you noticed it or not.
Working this out backwards, you prepared yourself for failure, so you accept that as a possibility and challenge yourself to fail with grace aka go all out and pull a kamikaze with w/e you want to accomplish. This can go 3 ways: First route, you failed and you don’t feel as bad since you DID your best. Second route, you did pretty well, and thus you began to believe you can do this again(revert back to the normal ways). Last route, you did okay, and you told yourself, I’m going to learn from this and if needed, I will be honored to go kamikaze on the next thing I tackle.
Surely, you feel confused by now. Just know that I don’t expect you to understand this anytime soon, unless you have the same intense desperation mindset as I do embedded in your brain.
Study with the mindset of accepting defeat, but with minimal losses. Surely, you won’t feel bad when you finish taking those finals. Especially since you did your best to cut your losses before you make them a dent to your already fucked up beliefs and/or aspirations.
Good luck, and the odds will never be in our favor. :)
P.S. seriously, there’s no point beating yourself up, when things go haywire and your brain can’t adjust to that immediate pressure/stress.
Woke up at 8am , ate leftover taco bell chicken burrito, she ate cerreal with milk.
We left to see Hunger Games: Catching Fire for only 7 dollars a person. Mom called to inform me that I need to pick up my little brothers from Chinese school.
We all decided to go eat BCD tofu. Service sucks today.
Got tastea, told them no ice, and it still taste great!
My love and I made love for a decent hour and then fell asleep.
We woke up around 5:30pm. I studied for ochem, while she tried to get a headstart on her anthro paper.
Mom made legit korean galbi(short ribs) and we all felt like heaven in our mouths.
My sweetheart and I left for the mall to walk around and see things. i ended up buying a discounted G by guess jacket that we both agreed it was so da handsome on me. LOL
We then proceeded on our mission to get 1 dollar sushi at Gatten’s closing hour special. We knew the drill, and we went for the ones that we liked.
When we got back, I studied and she worked on her paper more.
We talked about my personal issues and i’m burning my own bridges to friends and opportunities.
We said screw it, went to Albertson’s and got vanilla bean ice cream and cream soda. Later, my brother Michael was kind enough to make everyone a rootbeer float.
She got upset that our school’s library won’t let her access the resources that she needed for her essay. I went inside the master bedroom and played Call of Duty: Ghost on our family PS3. (I hate that game!)
I borrowed my mom’s laptop and played League of Legends with my friend Jason. We won 5 straight ranked games in league. Pretty dope, I know.
My baby had a mental breakdown and she figured out the things that was bothering her the most. That I indirectly blamed her for my inability to reconnect with my old friends, “freedom of choice”, and my indecisiveness to make shit happen.
She was right, and I had known I was deteriorating for the longest time. I was waiting for change to happen, and in the mean time, I had spurted out to her all my miseries and how much I desired to do things.
I know for sure, that I have to make adjustments to my habits. Whether it takes me a month, few months, or a year, I have to be a better person. Not for her sake, but for my own.
This is the end of a man marked of guilt. He will no longer be bounded by ties of the past, nor will he be burdened of others’ misunderstandings. He shall forge railings of gold, for himself and his future.
In the short run, he needs to watch what he says and think before he acts. In the long run, he needs to get the fuck out of his comfort zone again and be that shameless, confident, yet humble gentleman that he has always been.
Nonetheless, he will love this girl with all his heart. He will understand that being together 24/7 isn’t exactly the most healthiest of the relationship(esp in college). It’s time to take it to the next level.
Light shine, rain fall, cloud scatter…
A Midnovember Night’s Dream consist of two conventional lovers, lying next to each other on a humble mattress bed.
The man craves adventure and eros, while the woman desires attention and emotional investments.
Man said, one does not have be dragged through a field of poison oak to understand the pain of regret.
Woman contended, tis’ true that life is too short to regret, but one should not forget to pave a strong road to luxury and comfort.
Man: Breathe in the life that God has given to us, and exhale out the expectations mandated by our forefathers.
Woman: Sing and dance with me, for there’s no rush to seize the twilight of a new day.
M: Let’s get out of here, I’m sick of getting sore on this bed.
W: How could you say that. This bed means everything to us, and this is the only furniture we have in the room.
5 years passed.
Walking with my head down,
Hoping that the next one, brings me to the closer that I was.
Cus I was better. Maybe it’s because, we were together…
I’m too tired to talk about life. And too busy thinking about what I’m going to eat and obtaining the means to provide for myself in the next phase of growth.
When will I be at peace? Perhaps I can…
Live, breathe, look, listen.